Can I help you? No, we don't sell pesto sausage, but we do have little weenies.

May 31, 2007

You go into the future....

with the climate you have, not the climate you wish you had.

This is from Raw Story, but a lot of sites have picked it up. This guy is the head of NASA. I heard his comments on NPR this morning. Absolutely flabbergasting. The short version -- Global Warming is (or might be) good. What an insular, provincial chipmunk-faced idiot. Be sure to read the hidden message.

But who'll be president

when Bush is confirmed as the minister of silly walks?

REUTERS/Joshua Roberts

Energy Crisis no longer worrisome

If I could commute to work on/in a pink bunny slipper scooter....
They're electric and apparently built by a Tesla engineer.
(from Gizmodo-Japan)

May 30, 2007

Happy Last Throes Day!

This reminder from Think Progress

On May 30, 2005, Vice President Cheney declared that the insurgency in Iraq was in its “last throes” and predicted “the level of activity that we see today from a military standpoint, I think, will clearly decline.”

I'll leave to my fearless readers to suggest ideas for the celebration.

May 29, 2007

Remember this guy?

AP Photo/Elizabeth Dalziel

Yes, the panda man is back. The Huff Post reports:
President Bush has chosen Robert Zoellick, a one-time U.S. trade representative and former No. 2 official at the State Department, to lead the World Bank, a senior administration official said Tuesday.

Bush will announce his decision on Wednesday.
From the earlier story, "You want to know how the panda felt?" he asked. "Very soft."

My guess is that the panda felt very threatened when being held by John Bolt-on's scary cousin.

If you recall Zoellick was passed over for the treasury sec position and left the administration in a snit. (or something like that).

Masahiro Middlefinger

shows us how he really feels about his new robotic manager.

"I don't care if ...

AP Photo/Eduardo Verdugo

if the show starts in five minutes. I have to go do my business.

Bunker Mentality?

Separated at birth? I know which one has the more sensible daughter.
Archie's sneer needs work, and I think Archie did not dodge the draft.

May 25, 2007

Three-alarm blaze in the trouser department

AFP/Yuri Gripa

Pretzeldent Bush waves to his imaginary friends as a Mark VI Helsinki pumper truck stands by to extinguish his pants.

When you're done with the Constitution, be sure to flush...

Oy veh. This is rather interesting. The Air Force, a leisure service of the religious right, gets caught evangelizing, again.

Military takes step back from Christian event
Constitutionality is questioned

By Alan Cooperman, Washington Post | May 25, 2007

WASHINGTON -- Following complaints by a government watchdog group, the Air Force and the Army partially distanced themselves yesterday from a three-day evangelical Christian event this weekend at a Georgia theme park.

The theme park in question is Stone Mountain. The town of Stone Mountain is a Christain town, you've heard of born again? Well, the KKK was born again there in 1915.

The festivities will feature a flyover by stealth bombers. If the bombers don't show up, how will they know?

George Bush gets serious...

AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite

as he explains the fine points of off-road bowling and finger painting.

Condi, please...

REUTERS/Robert Galbraith

Don't step on Harvey's feet when you dance with him.

May 24, 2007

Bush: "We are there at their request."

That is a quote from todays presser.
How about some historical perspective. A request? Oh, maybe like the Poles requested those nice German boys over for fun and games in 1939? Or the Chinese requested those Japanese tourists to come to Nanking in 1937?

Has Telly Savales seen these?

REUTERS/Michael Caronna
"My name is Talking Tina and I don't think I like you."

Unfinished sex doll heads are pictured at Orient Industry's factory in Tokyo May 23, 2007. Orient Industry makes sex dolls to order with a variety of bodies, faces and hairstyles that cost from 140,000 yen (US$1,150) for a basic model to 650,000 yen (US$5,400) for models with realistic latex skin and internal metal skeletons. (JAPAN)

Clothes make the man

Why can Evo Morales wear this headgear and still look more dignified than our commander-in-chimp?

Bolivia's President Evo Morales wears a traditional headdress and wreath made of bread as he presides over a ceremony in which his government gave computers to 21 different schools in the province of Chuquisaca, southern Bolivia, May 23, 2007. (BOLIVIA REUTERS/HO

Ha Ha Ha

Very funny, dear. No, I do NOT want to go clubbing tonight!

I've gotten ...

Toru Hanai/Reuters

I've gotten a little behind in my blogging. I'll try to get some stuff up today for your consideration.

May 22, 2007

Brad and Janet stop to ask directions

REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque
Critics worry that the 2007 remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show may be hampered by its low-budget casting.

Bush describes ...

REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

As law enforcement officers look on, Preznit Bush describes the pink plaid walking catfish that dashed in front of his big white phallic symbol truck causing him to sweve into yet another quagmire.

May 21, 2007

Hehehe, I have a little business to attend to.

REUTERS/Yuri Gripas

Preznit Bush prepares to enter Porta-Potty one to make number two as his marine honor guard stands by.

May 18, 2007

Bye Pickles

Have fun at the Mayflower. No early calls, okay.

His perch was only this big

Heck, I've caught bigger Coney Island Whitefish.

May 17, 2007

When George said ....

AFP/Jim Watson

"Kiss mah pasty white ass." This is not what he had in mind."

George tries to get jiggy ....

as Tony explains perch fishing.

Blair and Bush grapple with the issues

REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque
George and Tony discuss the relative merits of Greco-Roman versus Sumo wrestling.

May 16, 2007

Dig it

REUTERS/Jason Reed

"And y'all say my ratings are down there?"

"No, sir. We're not down to that level yet."

"Stoopit archeologists."

God to Falwell ...

YOU'RE FIRED !!The Right Reverend Jerry Falwell suddenly realizes that he's not in Kansas any more.

(picture via

May 14, 2007

Partisan politics, anyone?

Now more than ever is the time for partisan* politics. I'd even settle for ranseur, ox tongue, or spetum politics.

*From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A partisan (also partizan) is a type of polearm that was used in Europe during medieval times. It consisted of a spear or lance head that was constructed as a small double headed axe built into the lower blade. Time showed this to not be the most effective design for war; however, the partisan stayed in 'use' for many years as a ceremonial weapon after it had become obsolete. Its design quickly changed from the practical to the foppish.

Can we hear more about that perch?

Call me, Ishmael, I'll be home tonight.
Commander Guy Ahab relates his quest for the great white perch.
(Bush pix from yahoo, perch is from

May 11, 2007

The world's most realistic hand puppet


I like this picture. Here's what's really happening:
A father from the Ancient Samaritan community holds up his son during a pilgrimage marking the end of the holy day of Passover at the religion's holiest site on Mount Gerizim near the West Bank town of Nablus, early Monday. According to tradition, the Samaritans are descendants of Jews who were not deported when the Assyrians conquered the area in the 8th century B.C. Of the small community of close to 700 people, half live in a village at Mount Gerizim, and the rest in the city of Holon near Tel Aviv. (Seattle Times)

Mitt the unimaginative

Quote of the day from Mitt:

"I have a great-great grandfather. They were trying to build a generation out there in the desert and so he took additional wives as he was told to do. And I must admit, I can't imagine anything more awful than polygamy," he said.

I personally think having Romney for president would be far, far more awful than polygamy. Be sure to find the hidden message.
(Lucy Nicholson/Reuters)

Is he sniffing his fingers?

Or is he inventing a "dirty Tony"?

REUTERS/David Moir

May 10, 2007

Separated at birth?

Perhaps, but Neelix is a better dancer and far more handsome.

Kansas Chainsaw Massacre

AP Photo/Travis Heying

"Y'all kin use my chainsore, since yours are in Eye-Rack. Y'all 'll have to buy your own gas."

May 9, 2007

Shameless commerce division

This is not me.
Not commerce per se, but shameless none the less. For those of you looking for a worthy cause, how about supporting cancer research by sponsoring me in the Prouty. I'll be cycling my first century (100 miles) to celebrate, commemorate my first half century on this planet.
Donate here. If I get enough donations, I get a new set of curb feelers and a half pair of fuzzy dice.

We are all of us affected by cancer. I recently found out that my father's cousin's son (I'm from the south so I should be able to just whip out the relationship, I think he would be my second cousin once removed, feel free to correct me) has been diagnosed with cancer that is pretty far along. His mother will be 99 next week, a little hard of hearing, but bright eyed and sharp as a tack. I hate for her to have this burden. It's extraordinary to think of, but her grandparents could remember when Lincoln Davis was president. Wow. I'll have to dig out my family tree.

May 8, 2007

Nancy ordered toad in the hole

(REUTERS/Jason Reed)
but ended up with Spotted Dick.

I can never remember ...


Which one is Not Jenna?

Protocol lesson

AFP/File/Saul Loeb
"I say, is one expected to eat the worm?"
Preznit bush teaches the Queen the fine points of American culture.

Does Rudi Know?

REUTERS/Jason Reed

"Heheheh, does Rudi know you stole his wife's hat?"

May 7, 2007

Thank FSM for small favors

Thank FSM for small favors.

Bush has yet to visit R.I., Vt. as president.

From here. As a resident of the Green Mountain state, all I can say is yay. With senators like we got, Chimpy might just be a little worried about the reception around here. Not to mention the fact that Vermont, on a per capita basis has suffered the highest casualty rate of any state in the Iraq war/occupation.

Today's fun fact about Vermont:
Public nudity is legal in Vermont, though not disrobing in public.

May 4, 2007

Bush channels JFK (almost)

Reuters/Yuri Gripas

"Ich bin ein pendejo."
"Feliz Cinco de Mayo, y'all"

You don't need a republican to know which way the wind blows

Senator James Infhofe (R-Knuckleheadistan) demonstrates his patented proto-plasmic anemometer and nasal excavator.
Skip to this story to see an article about the economic costs of carbon mitigation. The short version, it doesn't really cost that much. My version, we can't really afford not to.

May 3, 2007

House arrest anyone?

I saw this on ABC news. The White House press office has handed out yellow cancer bracelets that say 'Tony Snow' to reporters. Theatre much? The press corpse are not your friends, Pony. Please stop trying to get jiggy with them.

I would also be sure to check these bracelets for RFID tags and hidden microphones.
If it turns out that these are actually monitors, I think Martha "Caged Heat" Stewart knows how to trick them.

Commander Guy action figure unveiled

Available from

Plastic Junk R Us has unveiled their latest action figure in the Political Knucklehead line. The new Commander Guy is very realistically lifelike, it makes rude noises, does nothing of consequence, and stinks.

May 2, 2007

Arctic-pocalypse Now

Photos from NASA

Arctic ice cap melting 30 years ahead of forecast.
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The Arctic ice cap is melting much faster than expected and is now about 30 years ahead of predictions made by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, a U.S. ice expert said on Tuesday.

This means the ocean at the top of the world could be free or nearly free of summer ice by 2020, three decades sooner than the global panel's gloomiest forecast of 2050.

No ice on the Arctic Ocean during summer would be a major spur to global warming, said Ted Scambos, a glaciologist at the National Snow and Ice Center in Colorado.
Open water is a major heat absorber. Ice is a great reflector. Less ice, more heat, warmer water. Warmer water, later freeze in the fall and less ice, and so on and so forth. Blather, rinse, and repeat. This is the worst news that's come out in while.

May 1, 2007

Evolution a reality

Can we finally end the intelligent design discussion?

Photos from the AP and the Scotsman

I hate it ....

when I get Soylent Green stuck between my teeth.