"Put the kid down."

AP/Ronen Zilberman (stolen from Water Tiger)

"If you can't handle the answer, you shouldn't ask if your butt looks big in that outfit."

Patrick Leahy's Diary

"Note to self: Take names, kick ass."

(Repeat as necessary. Harriet Meyers and Sara Taylor received subpoenas today. I hope the subpoenas continue to fly like ticker tape at a parade.)

Article at the Huffington Post.

The dogs of war

Reuters-Yuri Gripas

hear a can opener.

"C'mon Beazley. Mama's tranqed and Papa's tanked. They'll give us everything."
picture via Tengrain

Friday Schlock and Awww

(AP Photo/Zoological Society of San Diego, Ken Bohn )

The Ross Perot stunt double club is shown at a recent meeting. They are cute little fellas, and you should see their pie charts. "We're all ears," they were not heard to say.

Whar is he?

REUTERS/Jim Young

George, allow me to introduce you to El Presidente Sanchez.

Tea time?

"Come with me, George. I 'll have Lugovoi make you a cup of tea..."

"heheheh, can you put a little something special in it?"

"With pleasure."

"heheheheheh"

AFP/Mandel Ngam

Paris is burning

Hallelujah, Paris is out of jail and sporting a fashionable Martha "Caged Heat" Stewart bracelet. Apparently, young Miss Hilton has an unspecified medical problem. (Drugs are medical, right?) Any guesses? I'm thinking bed wetting and lockups intolerance. Of course it may just be a case of too much moneyitis.
A spokesperson for the county sheriff's office denied rumors that she was suffering from “lacerations, perforations and deaths”. (see post below)

Surgeon General has determined that certain acts between consenting adults are icky

This is starting to show up at the usual places
The Surgeon General nominee, James W. Holsinger has a curious bit on his resume.

In 1991, Holsinger wrote a document titled “Pathophysiology of Male Homosexuality” for the United Methodist Church’s Committee to Study Homosexuality. The graphic document argues that gay sex can lead to “lacerations, perforations and deaths” and concludes that it is “intuitively” unnatural.

"lacerations, perforations, and death" sounds more like a rumble between the Sharks and the Jets.

If he is confirmed, everyone'll need a tattoo on their fundament that says the Surgeon General has determined that gay sex can lead to “lacerations, perforations and deaths”. And before you know it restaurants won't allow it either, and everyone at work will have to stand outside in the rain to do it, too .

When I do this ...

... the big trucks honk their horns, and I show the drivers what I've got.

AP Photo/Markus Schreiber

NO WAY?

"Ah did what at the last party? I don't remember anything."

Fractured fairy tales

AP Photo/CTK, Michal Krumphanzl

Prince Smarming looks on as Pickerella adjusts her glass slipper before Air Force One turns into a giant zucchini at midnight.

Bush ponders invading....

Bush ponders invading a world leader's personal space or maybe Iran. I plan on following the news to catch his gaffes as they happen. Any bets?

Oh sh*te! Category 5 in the gulf...

No not that gulf. Lest I be accused of being too provincial, here is today's news from the Gulf of Oman. Check out this link to The Oil Drum.
A very rare tropical cyclone/hurricane is headed toward Oman points northwest. The storm is now being reported as a category five with waves 40 to 50 feet high. There is a tremendous amount of oil production and infrastructure in the area, along with the Straits of Hormuz. Much of the machinery etc. was not designed or built with storms such as this in mind.

There's a lot of information at the Oil Drum and a lot of well informed commenters. Go there.

You want to talk perch

We'll talk perch. Eat your (miserable, black, undersized) heart out, George.

Found on the cutting room floor

Just watch it. Actually I found it on the Daily Kos. Scenes from a press conference. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Great editing.