Can I help you? No, we don't sell pesto sausage, but we do have little weenies.

Dec 19, 2007

Where there's smoke, there's evidence

(AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

Doggone, cheap-ass imported shredders overheated again.

Story here in case you missed it. The Eisenhower Executive Office Building by the White House was visited by the fire fairy this morning.

(My grandmother loved fires, she used to follow fire trucks so she could watch.)

Bush to sign energy bill

"Raisin' CAFE standards, heheheheheh. ('cept fur mah truck and SUVs)"

"CAFE standards, now we'll have good places to eat like that Frenchie snarky Sarky, and we'll have an absinthe-only policy. heheheh."

"Gotta go work on a six-fold increase in my ethanol consumption, whar's the Wild Turkey?"

Man of the Year

Baa, humbug, I say!

Actually, he is no less deserving than anyone else I suppose. I just wanted an excuse to use this picture. For more pictures of Putin with animals, go to this link at Pravda.

Dec 14, 2007

Healthcare -- Quote of the day

From the resistance is futile department:
"(blah, blah, blah, health insurance company) ain't cheap. With a high deductible we still have to cough up $760 a month. (It's like having to make two car payments every month, but you don't get the cars.)"
You should read the whole thing at The Smirking Chimp.

Dec 12, 2007

99.44% snark free

The 'bullet holes' in this tusk are
found only on the skyward side.
Firestone et al.

This story from Nature is just amazing.

Mammoth tusks show up meteorite shower
Fossils could provide a new gold mine for micrometeorite hunters.
Rex Dalton
Bullet-like pieces of what is thought to be an ancient meteorite shower have been found embedded in mammoth tusks and bison bone. The discovery of the 2–5 millimetre holes left by meteorites opens a window into a impact event thought to have happened over Alaska and Russia tens of thousands of years ago. And it could provide a whole new way to chart impacts from space.

The fragments, found in seven mammoth tusks and the skull and horns of a Siberian bison, match the geochemical composition of iron meteorites. "We think that the micrometeorites came from an air-burst of a meteor 30,000 to 34,000 years ago," says Richard Firestone, co-author of the study and a chemist at the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory in California. "We think a wave of meteoric material sprayed the region."
May I recommend that you take a reinforced umbrella if you venture outside on Thursday night. See related story here about the Geminids.

Dec 11, 2007

Br'er Fox, Br'er Rabbit and BreauxLott

Looks like ol' Trent may be in trouble. registered 6 weeks before Lott gave notice.

Last month, after Sen. Trent Lott (R-MS) announced that he was retiring before the end of the year, it was widely speculated that Lott may be considering a lobbying partnership with former senator John Breaux. As ThinkProgress noted at the time, any pre-negotiating between Lott and Breaux would violate Senate ethics rules. The Hill reports today Lott’s son, Chet, “secured the rights to the domain name” “six weeks before his father announced his retirement,” raising further questions about whether Lott broke Senate rules.

The image is from and the story is from Think Progress.

"Br'er Fox, do whatever you want, but please don't throw me in the brier patch."

Trent Lott doesn't rise to the intellectual level of Br'er Rabbit, but he shares his "his amoral nature and lack of any positive restraint."*

Dec 7, 2007

Does this rise to the level of insider trading?

From Raw Story

Pope offers 'shortcut' through purgatory
Mike Aivaz and Jason Rhyne
Published: Friday December 7, 2007

Pope Benedict XVI has decreed that Catholics can cut short their future purgatory stays by visiting a holy shrine in Lourdes, France, a site where believers say the Virgin Mary appeared to a shephardess in 1858. Catholic pilgrims who visit Lourdes from now through next year, which will mark the 150th anniversary of the miracle claim, will receive an "indulgence" from the Pope, which he says will speed the trip to heaven.

"The door for indulgences is not always open, though, and for years after the Vatican Council reforms of the 1960s, they were rarely offered -- until 2000, when Pope John Paul II started using them to attract pilgrims to World Youth Day," reports the New York Times' Mike Nizza. "The pilgrimage, which must be made in the next year, can be accomplished using Vatican charter flights that began over the summer."

For Catholics not in a position to jaunt off to France, prayer at other select sites during a ten-day span in February may also do the trick. According to the BBC, the Pope indicated that "believers who prayed at places of worship dedicated to Our Lady of Lourdes from 2-11 February next year -- or who were unable to make the journey -- would also be able to receive indulgences."
Would Virgin Airlines be okay?

Unclear on the concept

Secretary Rice has assembled a expert team including Johnny Choo and Salvatore Ferragamo to help reduce her carbon footprint.

Poop Scoop

The details of the President's Poop Preparations revealed. I may be spending too much time on this subject, but tough. It's more likely that the Chimperor's toilet is solid gold (brrrr) and serviced by Halliburton.
I am really curious about the actual devices used for the toilet. Do his minions set up a porta-potty in the presidential suite? This device should definitely be a fixture at the Bush Library.
disclaimer: I worked in Alaska in the bush (if you'll excuse the term), and evacuation and its related facilities are a serious concern in the winter. One of the places I worked had the very best view from an outhouse, ever.

Dec 5, 2007

Cheating scandal hits north pole

REUTERS/Han Jae-ho

The Santa in the middle is a little too interested in her neighbor's paper.
I know the competition is fierce, but how do you cheat on a Santa test.

Employees of Everland amusement park dressed in Santa Claus outfits take a Santa Claus qualifying examination during a promotional event for the Christmas holiday season at the amusement park in Yongin, about 50 km (31 miles) south of Seoul, December 5, 2007. About 30 employees took part in a one-day course at its Santa Claus school and will serve customers as Santa Clauses.

Her beard could use a little work, too.

Halliburton much?


Nonstop service between Houston and Dubai begins (artist's conception shown above)
(check the full(?) story here)
The inaugural flight of Emirates' new nonstop service between Dubai and Houston touched down here Monday, directly linking the two energy centers.

At the same time, word circulated that another Middle Eastern carrier, Qatar Airways, may be flying into Houston.

Natural gas-rich Qatar's national airline will start flights to Houston by mid-2008, the airline's chief executive officer, Akbar al-Baker, was quoted as saying in a story in the Gulf Times.
I guess KBR and Halliburton got tired of having to make connections in enemy territory like NY.

That's All

Here's my contribution to that silly-ass music meme:

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? Midnight Special -- Johnny Rivers


3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? I Wonder Where you are tonight -- Dolly Parton

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? The Refugee -- U2

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE? Isle of Hope, Isle of Tears -- Sean Keane

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Cover Me -- Bruce Springsteen

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Am I Blue -- Willie Nelson

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? I like my chicken frying size -- Merle Travis

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Roving Gypsy Boy -- The Rankin Family

10. WHAT IS 2+2? Track 24 -- Johnny Cash

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Folsom Prison Blues -- Johnny Cash

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Wayfaring Stranger -- Johnny Cash

13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? The Same Thing -- George Thorogood

14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Tramp Miner -- Rankin Family

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Love at the Five and Dime -- Nanci Griffith

16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? Somebody's Leaving - Little Feat

17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? With Body and Soul -- Bill Monroe

18. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Life gets tedious, don't it -- Doc Watson

19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? Lungs -- Townes Van Zandt

20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? Secret Agent Man -- Johnny Rivers

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Till it shines -- Lyle Lovett and Keb Mo'

22. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS? That's All -- Doc and Merle Watson

Dec 4, 2007

How much is that in dog years?

Getty Images/Chip Somodevilla via Water Tiger

As of today, Dec. 4, 2007, there are 412 days left of this madness.
That is a looonnnnng time.

WTB: Brain Bleach

Against my better judgment, I listened to the chimperor this morning. What agony.

He nearly slipped a cog when some one asked him about the Saudi rape victim flogging. I thought I had lost my connection, but he finally bumbled through some sort of a non-answer.

I don't think he actually answered a single question, about par for the course, I guess.

He was most painfully stupid when talking about the new NIE.

"Let's see Iran has stopped its military nuke program, but they had one, so they might start up again."

Blather, rinse, repeat.

Dec 3, 2007

Mind Boggling

This story is from the AP via Pravda.
The Japanese conducted a research to find out that young chimps have a better short-term memory than human adults.

That challenges the belief of many people, including many scientists, that "humans are superior to chimpanzees in all cognitive functions," said researcher Tetsuro Matsuzawa of Kyoto University.

"No one can imagine that chimpanzees young chimpanzees at the age of 5 have a better performance in a memory task than humans," he said in a statement.