Surgeon General has determined that certain acts between consenting adults are icky

This is starting to show up at the usual places
The Surgeon General nominee, James W. Holsinger has a curious bit on his resume.

In 1991, Holsinger wrote a document titled “Pathophysiology of Male Homosexuality” for the United Methodist Church’s Committee to Study Homosexuality. The graphic document argues that gay sex can lead to “lacerations, perforations and deaths” and concludes that it is “intuitively” unnatural.

"lacerations, perforations, and death" sounds more like a rumble between the Sharks and the Jets.

If he is confirmed, everyone'll need a tattoo on their fundament that says the Surgeon General has determined that gay sex can lead to “lacerations, perforations and deaths”. And before you know it restaurants won't allow it either, and everyone at work will have to stand outside in the rain to do it, too .